If you were to ask any decent publicist to assess the extended and lengthening relationship beween Prince William and Kate Middleton, the report would make dismal reading.

Information is sparse and much of it false, suggesting not just that reporters are relying on poor sources, but that regular smokescreens are put up to confuse journalists.

The fact is we shouldn’t have been speculating for years about this. If what some courtiers are reported as saying is true (and haven’t we heard that before?) William should have made Kate’s status clear some time ago. Instead she’s almost totally boxed in while getting small windows of his time occasionally.

I can’t help thinking that William has not handled it very well. The sudden SAR announcement last year must have knocked her for six. The only explanation that makes any sense is what a friend of William said three years ago: he’s hoping she’ll get fed up and find someone else.

The problem with that idea is that he did ditch her two years ago then went crawling back after a few months. Even that incident was thought by some to be a ploy to get rid of the paparazzi.

The Mail’s Richard Kay, who knew William as a boy, hinted in a TV documentary last year that Kate was being used as a decoy for other activities. With his contacts within the Palace, that must be taken seriously. But then the thought arises as to what these other activities are. Speculation from sporadic facts is never profitable and can be wildly wrong.

The signals are all over the place. It’s beginning to remind me of Gordon Brown. Not a good sign.

There is a powerful school of thought that the Monarchy is best when it’s boring.

Prince William and Prince Harry

I would prefer to say, it has a duty to be boring to the extent that boring doesn’t trip over the toes of politicians.

However, I don’t believe that boring should apply equally to members of the Royal Family whose job it is to help the Monarch embody and unify the nation. Boring and invisible are not known unifying forces.

At present the Royal Family is keeping a very low profile. Its future, the two 20-something Princes, are buried deep in the Armed Forces, except for occasional forays into charitable activities, which by necessity, are boring.

If you write about Monarchy and Royalty, as we do here, there are very few Royal stories around.

Kate Middleton has popped into a very black hole, possibly allowing her to fade from public notice with dignity. If she ever pops out permanently on the arm of Prince William, it will be deja vu all over again, as some wit put it. In other words, boring.

Chelsy Davy has reportedly had a few flings during her former boyfriend’s absence on flying duties. Holidays in South Africa without Harry, and a new job in a London law office beckon. Boring doesn’t begin to cover it.

Prince Charles and Camilla stagger from one overseas PR disaster to another, giving the impression of a ragged and disputatious marriage — which it probably isn’t. Well, not all of the time.

Oh, and Princess Beatrice has got a new plait on the top of her head. Hold the back page!

It couldn’t be more boring, could it?

This wholesale retreat from public life is said to be a way of sharing the public’s new-found poverty. Rightly, photos of drunken Princes swaying out of £100-a-shot nightclubs are strictly off-limits now.

The Princes’ new team at St James’s Palace can hardly be expected to come up with new publicity stories while the “boys” are in the military, training for future under-the-radar roles.

Has the Queen fallen into the same trap that caused such consternation when Diana died? Locking the family away in Balmoral, while half the country was heaving with grief, was understandable for an ordinary family, but not for Royalty. Monarchy needs to be visible at low points in the national life. Future popularity depends on it.

The new austerity is a wise choice, given the appalling attrition many families are facing across the country. But a bit of Royal magic would go down a treat now.