So Prince William and Kate Middleton attended a polo match over the weekend and *gasp* he put his arm on her shoulder in a gesture of affection (pictured).

This is a couple who have been in and out of “going out” for so long, you almost have to be of the Queen Mother’s generation to remember when it all began.

Nowadays, they are spotted together two or three times a year, usually at polo or shooting parties. Their public appearances go round in circles without ever getting anywhere. It’s a bit like watching one of those everlasting film loops on the 24-hour news channels.

What is the real story behind this sporadic romance that would never make the pages of Mills and Boon? Sometimes I think even they don’t really know where it will end. They act like a couple whose early romance has spluttered out, but are so comfortable with each other, they can’t bring themselves to end it completely.

When the Prince finished his military training last year, it was generally assumed he would settle down and help out the family firm, especially his elderly grandmother. Visions of a glittering Royal wedding became the norm in the media and beyond.

Then, William surprised everyone, including Kate and his minders, by signing up for a long stint as a helicopter pilot in the RAF. Incredibly, his brother, Prince Harry, also sank his future in a similar role with the Army. We now have the second and third-in-line to the Throne training to fly helicopters in hazardous circumstances for years to come.

While I can understand Harry wanting to see action, it doesn’t make sense for his elder brother also to seek harm’s way. The Armed Forces can’t be that short of helicopter pilots that a whole generation of Royal heirs have to be drafted in.

While the Queen is sensibly rationing her daily workload, and the Prince of Wales — now the oldest occupier of that title in history — is not the sprightly youth he once was, it is inexplicable that the Monarchy’s future, the younger Princes, should absent themselves when the Queen needs them most.

This loop will run and run. I suspect most of us are bored stiff with it already.

William should take care that the public don’t forget about him entirely, hardly recognizing the man when he finally ascends to the Throne, a stranger to his people.

John Evans

It’s about time we revisited this almost ancient storyline which was once so huge, but now just perks up a tad on the few occasions they are spotted together.

Prince William and Kate Middleton’s relationship is now so low key that it survives in the public mind only on the memory of what happened more than two years ago. Nothing of substance has been added since then. In fact, Carole Middleton’s negative comments appear to have downgraded it further.

Despite that, some journalists still call Kate “William’s girlfriend”. Could that be because no other girlfriend has been in evidence?

Richard Kay’s comment on Channel 4 that Kate has become a kind of smokescreen, allowing William to play the field, begs some questions.

If they are “just friends” it would be to her advantage to go along with it and remain in the Prince’s circle.

Publicly, Kate’s status is non-defined, neither one thing nor another. That’s not a good place for a bright 27 year-old to be.

Wild speculation has now given way to yawning apathy. For William, that’s not a good situation either. He will need a store of popularity to perform his role in future years.

Has his new publicist team decreed a Trappist-like existence for the Prince? Or is it William’s decision to stay out of the spotlight?

As for Kate: if a particular species of bird becomes rare, then not sighted at all, in most cases it’s become extinct.

That would be a pity though.

On Wednesday evening, Prince William attended a gala evening of music and food in London to mark the end of his year as Patron of the Lord Mayor’s Appeal.

The constantly solo Prince suggests that Kate Middleton has resumed her role as casual girlfriend rather than the “Girlfriend,” to which she had been promoted, according to recent reports, with the consent of the Queen.

The Grand Finale of the event was at St Paul’s Cathedral in celebration of the end of the appeal for 2008.

Money was raised throughout the year for Wellbeing of Women, which funds research into women’s health, and Orbis, which works to prevent blindness in developing countries.

David Lewis. the Lord Mayor of the square-mile financial district, who should not be confused with Boris Johnson, the publicly-elected Mayor of all London, said of the occasion:

“I have had such a wonderful and exciting year with tremendous support from many people and organisations in the City. I am delighted that many of our friends have joined us to celebrate the Grand Finale to my Lord Mayor’s appeal.”

William now steps down as the Appeal’s Patron.

Quite what this quiet period in Kate’s role signifies for the future is not yet crystal clear. My guess is that the high spot of the relationship has passed and an enduring friendship has replaced it.

The Prince will be fully occupied from January with an 18-month spell of intensive training as a helicopter pilot with the RAF’s Search and Rescue unit. The belief is that he will make the grade and go on to serve for up to six years in various remote spots around Britain, and possibly abroad.

Marriage, it seems, is the last thing on his mind.

As for Kate, she is rebuilding her life and expectations within the Middleton family business and, no doubt, will re-emerge into the London night scene as the fancy takes her.

What are Prince William’s motives for choosing the RAF over Kate Middleton?

Whichever way you look at it his motivation for deciding on four more years in the military is hard to read. The choice is made more puzzling by his apparent sudden change of mind.

Just a few weeks ago William seemed set to spend 2009 learning about constitutional affairs, interspersed with some Royal engagements and other duties. Although it was never explicitly spelled out, most observers had pencilled in a summer wedding with Kate Middleton.

Then, anonymous voices claiming inside knowledge began to put it about that marriage had been postponed for 18 months at least. No reason was given, which made the claims less credible at the time.

Last week the absent bits of the jigsaw puzzle fell into place. William had decided to train for the RAF’s Search and Rescue unit and was intent on becoming a helicopter pilot on active duty around Britain’s shores and wild places.

So what were his motivations, and how does Kate feel about his apparent desertion? The obvious reason is that he enjoys the excitement of service life.

It may also be true that he views marriage as a millstone round his neck. However much he likes being with Kate, it may simply be “the institution, stupid”.

It’s possible that only one of these motives is the real one. Which one would be interesting to know. There’s a lesser probability that both figured in his decision, in which case maybe the French Foreign Legion would be a better choice.

If the first reason is the primary cause of his sudden change of heart, it holds up to the world that he may never be ready to settle down into the boring routine of marriage and Royal duty — at least until he is considerably older.

An even longer life for his grandmother, and an extended reign for his father, might be very welcome to the reluctant Prince.

I’m also beginning to think that Kate may share those views, although not to the extent of being separated from him for the best part of four years.

She may recognize that you have to swallow some bad stuff in order to realize your dreams. As a middle-class female she probably has a better grasp on the realities, like the necessity to compromise a little and settle for what you get.

William, though, as a Prince born to greatness and worldwide fame, may just believe he can have it all without any diversions down unwanted paths and alleyways.

There’s a disconnect somewhere here. Let’s hope neither of the two personalities in this affair gets hopelessly hurt.

It may be that a Christmas announcement is still in the schedule for a May or June wedding next year. In which case the trajectory remains intact. But some sources are warning this is not so, and normal life has been postponed in the foreseeable future.

Since the future of the Monarchy rests on their shoulders, it would be of great assistance if someone known and credible explained the reasons behind this radical change of tack to the great British public.