English Heritage has just run a competition to find England’s most useless Monarch. The result was never going to be a surprise because the “winner” could only come from a handful of stinkers and duffers.

In the end they alighted on that bulbous, wasteful drunk George IV, who was so corpulent he was known as the Prince of Whales before he became King.

George was totally self-obsessed, unlike his sweet-natured father George III, who had the misfortune to suffer from the genetic disease porphyria, which made him increasingly insane.

The younger George was also nasty and brutish to his rather ugly and unhygienic wife Caroline, and scandalized the nation by gross over-spending in very hard times. The baroque dazzle of the Brighton Pavilion in no way compensates for his extravagance, indeed it neatly sums it up. The Monarchy has rarely been as unpopular than it was under King George IV.

However, my own choice is the same as historian Andrew Roberts’s — King Stephen. Here’s his assessment of this odious man:

“King Stephen usurped his uncle Henry I’s throne in 1135, outmanouevring both his own elder brother Theobald and the rightful heir, Henry’s daughter the Empress Matilda. He seized the Treasury, crowned himself, gave Cumbria to the Scots to buy them off, paid Danegeld to appease the Danes and then plunged Britain into a series of four civil wars between 1138 and 1154. These left the country ravaged, impoverished and weaker than at any other time before or since.”

Anyone who has watched the British TV series, Cadfael, or read the books by Ellis Peters which are set in these civil wars, will have some idea of the privations of the period.

Andrew Roberts is right too when he says Britain is passing through a golden age during the reign of Elizabeth II. Let us hope she will soon be served by better politicians than now and for the rest of her time among us.

There are reports that Kate Middleton has accepted a Palace invitation to spend part of the Christmas holidays at Sandringham with the Royal Family.

Clearly aware that this may be her last Christmas as a single girl, she has wisely opted to remain in the bosom of her family on Christmas Day, but will travel to Norfolk for the Boxing Day shoot.

Last year a similar situation arose but Kate chose to be in Scotland with her family for the festive season.

The ever-sensible Queen will no doubt approve of her priorities on this occasion. Reports of “snubs” to Her Majesty should be taken with a large dose of salts. Early provisional guest lists are not Royal Commands.

Royal Ascot opened today with a cracking card of great racing and star performers.

The procession of Royal Landau at Royal Ascot today

As usual it was opened by the Royal procession of carriages along the course from Windsor, led by the Queen and Prince Philip, who seemed in great form.

The Queen and Prince Philip in the first carriage

The second of the four Landaus carried the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall together with Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie. I’m told that all three ladies wore hats by Philip Treacy. Can that be a record? Even so, they all looked a little glum in that carriage.

Prince Charles and Camilla with Beatrice and Eugenie

Apart from the Princesses, none of the younger Royals was present, although Zara Phillips is expected. Princess Anne arrived on foot rather than in a carriage.

Perhaps Kate Middleton and even Chelsy Davy will be along on Ladies Day.

Prince William was well supported at his investiture as the 1000th Knight Companion of the Garter since 1348 at Windsor today.

Prince William with his father and Camilla at the Garter event

Senior Garter Knights, Prince Charles and Prince Philip (his father and grandfather), were his official supporters as the Queen draped the historic and prestigious Garter robes around him in St. George’s Chapel.

Prince Harry, Kate Middleton and Camilla at Windsor today

In the congregation were Kate Middleton his more-than-a-girlfriend, and the Duchess of Cornwall.

Although Kate outshone all others as usual, this time William was the centre of attention in his floridly magnificent medieval robes and flourish of a hat.

The ancient company (literally in many cases) made its way slowly in solemn procession from the Chapel for about a quarter of a mile, heavily guarded by police and elements of the Household Cavalry.

It is a shame that the public are not allowed to watch the service and investiture on television. At least Hello! magazine didn’t have the monopoly this time.

Perhaps the Way Forward Group could consider opening this splendid event to public view at its next meeting?