So Prince William and Kate Middleton attended a polo match over the weekend and *gasp* he put his arm on her shoulder in a gesture of affection (pictured).

This is a couple who have been in and out of “going out” for so long, you almost have to be of the Queen Mother’s generation to remember when it all began.

Nowadays, they are spotted together two or three times a year, usually at polo or shooting parties. Their public appearances go round in circles without ever getting anywhere. It’s a bit like watching one of those everlasting film loops on the 24-hour news channels.

What is the real story behind this sporadic romance that would never make the pages of Mills and Boon? Sometimes I think even they don’t really know where it will end. They act like a couple whose early romance has spluttered out, but are so comfortable with each other, they can’t bring themselves to end it completely.

When the Prince finished his military training last year, it was generally assumed he would settle down and help out the family firm, especially his elderly grandmother. Visions of a glittering Royal wedding became the norm in the media and beyond.

Then, William surprised everyone, including Kate and his minders, by signing up for a long stint as a helicopter pilot in the RAF. Incredibly, his brother, Prince Harry, also sank his future in a similar role with the Army. We now have the second and third-in-line to the Throne training to fly helicopters in hazardous circumstances for years to come.

While I can understand Harry wanting to see action, it doesn’t make sense for his elder brother also to seek harm’s way. The Armed Forces can’t be that short of helicopter pilots that a whole generation of Royal heirs have to be drafted in.

While the Queen is sensibly rationing her daily workload, and the Prince of Wales — now the oldest occupier of that title in history — is not the sprightly youth he once was, it is inexplicable that the Monarchy’s future, the younger Princes, should absent themselves when the Queen needs them most.

This loop will run and run. I suspect most of us are bored stiff with it already.

William should take care that the public don’t forget about him entirely, hardly recognizing the man when he finally ascends to the Throne, a stranger to his people.

John Evans

There is a powerful school of thought that the Monarchy is best when it’s boring.

Prince William and Prince Harry

I would prefer to say, it has a duty to be boring to the extent that boring doesn’t trip over the toes of politicians.

However, I don’t believe that boring should apply equally to members of the Royal Family whose job it is to help the Monarch embody and unify the nation. Boring and invisible are not known unifying forces.

At present the Royal Family is keeping a very low profile. Its future, the two 20-something Princes, are buried deep in the Armed Forces, except for occasional forays into charitable activities, which by necessity, are boring.

If you write about Monarchy and Royalty, as we do here, there are very few Royal stories around.

Kate Middleton has popped into a very black hole, possibly allowing her to fade from public notice with dignity. If she ever pops out permanently on the arm of Prince William, it will be deja vu all over again, as some wit put it. In other words, boring.

Chelsy Davy has reportedly had a few flings during her former boyfriend’s absence on flying duties. Holidays in South Africa without Harry, and a new job in a London law office beckon. Boring doesn’t begin to cover it.

Prince Charles and Camilla stagger from one overseas PR disaster to another, giving the impression of a ragged and disputatious marriage — which it probably isn’t. Well, not all of the time.

Oh, and Princess Beatrice has got a new plait on the top of her head. Hold the back page!

It couldn’t be more boring, could it?

This wholesale retreat from public life is said to be a way of sharing the public’s new-found poverty. Rightly, photos of drunken Princes swaying out of £100-a-shot nightclubs are strictly off-limits now.

The Princes’ new team at St James’s Palace can hardly be expected to come up with new publicity stories while the “boys” are in the military, training for future under-the-radar roles.

Has the Queen fallen into the same trap that caused such consternation when Diana died? Locking the family away in Balmoral, while half the country was heaving with grief, was understandable for an ordinary family, but not for Royalty. Monarchy needs to be visible at low points in the national life. Future popularity depends on it.

The new austerity is a wise choice, given the appalling attrition many families are facing across the country. But a bit of Royal magic would go down a treat now.

An impressive memorial to the Queen Mother was unveiled by the Queen today on The Mall, directly before and below the statue of her husband, King George VI.

The Queen was accompanied by her children and grandchildren, the Prince of Wales with the Duchess of Cornwall, Princess Anne, Princes William and Harry, and the Duke of York with Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie.

Prince Charles gave a dignified personal tribute to his grandmother, to whom he was particularly close.

“At long last my grandparents are reunited in this joint symbol which, in particular, reminds us of all they stood for, and meant to so many, during the darkest hours this country has ever faced.

“All of us gathered here today will, I know, miss my darling grandmother’s vitality, her interest in the lives of others, her unbounded courage and determination that allowed her — incredibly — to continue her official life to the age of nearly 102; her perceptive wisdom, her calm in the face of all adversities, her steadfast belief in the British people and, above all, her irresistible, irrepressible sense of mischievous humour. How blessed we were to have known her and her generosity of spirit.”

It was the kind of occasion that put last night’s Channel 4 documentary, The Problem Princes in perspective.

Tonight Channel 4 broadcast an explosive documentary about Prince William and Prince Harry.

Typically for Channel 4 it covered a lot of “toff” activities, like hunting and polo in a deliberately disparaging way, and hyped up every glitch and problem that the Princes endured in their youth.

More interesting were journalist Richard Kay, who was close to their mother Diana, and James Whitaker, the Mirror photographer and lately pundit on all things Royal.

Richard Kay suggested that William is using Kate Middleton as a kind of decoy to cover his other activities. Both Princes, he said, are reluctant Royals who don’t want to do the job.

Whitaker also pursued this line, saying that their decisions to continue in the military “were extraordinary” and indicated they were turning their back on Royal duties and, by implication, marriage.

William does not come out of this very well. We hear that Diana referred to Harry as King Henry because she felt he would be more able to handle the role.

Chelsy Davy’s recent split from Harry was spliced onto the end of the tape, but carried the same message: the Princes are not interested in settling down, and both girls now seem to be aware of that.

Royal Anecdotes has known this for some time, as regulars will know, but the most astonishing assertion, made by Richard Kay, is that Kate is a decoy for William’s private activities.

No doubt a lot of flak will be generated by this documentary, and by the main interviews in particular, so we will await the outcome without commenting further for the time being.

(Overseas readers may be able to watch it on the Catchup service under the title “What happened next”.)