I’m often asked why I don’t report on the many rumours zipping around about the endlessly ongoing relationship between Kate Middleton and Prince William.

The simple answer is that most of them are untrue.

Now Judy Wade of Hello! magazine has shot down another batch of these phantom birds.

First, the plausible sounding report that Kate and William will be off to meet the Queen at Balmoral at the end of August. It’s definitely not on, says Judy. Nor is the linked tale of an engagement announcement on August 31, the anniversary of William’s mother, Diana, Princess of Wales’s death.

That never seemed a goer for me, since the two events are completely incompatible. The same goes for a wedding at St Paul’s Cathedral.

The new (or rehashed) idea that Kate is yet again planning a rendezvous with New York to enhance her photographic skills, explodes when you consider the paparazzi onslaught that would result in a city far from the protection squad she would need.

If Princess Eugenie is under the cosh for taking police guards abroad, how much more intense would it be for a non-Royal, non-engaged girlfriend of a Prince? And whatever happened to Eugenie’s arrival at an American university? Newcastle is a long way from New England.

It seems that Kate enjoys the privacy that working from a home office allows her, despite the constant barrage of derision it brings. I can understand that as I do the same myself. She will not lightly give it up in favour of a stint in an overseas city, however tempting that might be. Prince Harry’s reception by New Yorkers was a foretaste of what it might be like.

The story appears to be an echo of the Mario Testino affair last year, which went the rounds until he declared, “Where did this story come from? It’s new to me.”

There’s a rhythm to all this speculation. Stories are punted, based on clearly misleading information, only to be shot down later as “completely untrue”.

It may be that William’s friends are putting up smokescreens, like helicopter chaff, to deflect attention from what’s really going on, or, more likely, the sheer humdrum nature of both his RAF training and Kate’s work with Party Pieces.

The true story of Kate and William’s romance would never have become a Barbara Cartland novel, that’s for sure.

Now that Prince Harry is safely back from his tour in Afghanistan, Katie Nicholl is reporting that Prince William and Kate Middleton are planning a ski trip to Klosters next month, and both will be at Peter Phillips and Autumn Kelly’s wedding.

Frogmore House, Windsor, where Peter Phillips will marry in May

As we have been saying for months here at Royal Anecdotes, in the face of frothy newspaper and blog reports that they were on the rocks, the couple have been keeping a low profile because of Harry’s situation. There is a sense that much has been put on hold since Christmas and we’re now getting back to normal.

Kate will also be at William’s side during his cousin Peter Phillips’ wedding at Frogmore in the grounds of Windsor Castle in May. It seems the house may be the venue instead of St George’s Chapel, which would have given it a very Royal ambience.

A close friend of William and Kate is quoted as saying, “The rumours that they are on the rocks are rubbish. It is simply that they have not been out clubbing together and are keeping a low profile. They are also getting a bit older and prefer to go to friends for dinner rather than raving at Boujis.

“They talk on the phone pretty much every day. And they were together only the other week, but no one got to hear about it. They were with some friends at a private house party and were very tactile together. William had his arm round Kate and they were very much a couple. Kate is on the guest list for Peter’s wedding to Autumn Kelly.”

Both are hoping Prince Charles will join them at Klosters — he has been absent in recent years, which has been a crushing blow for the resort he made famous. Harry too may join the party.

Chelsy Davy yesterday drove to Highgrove from Leeds and spent time with Prince Harry last night. That must have been quite a reunion given the fizzy nature they both share.

There is also talk that Kate will after all go to New York to further her photography career, although quite how Mario Testino will fit into it after his outburst at the National Gallery (if correctly reported) is not quite clear.

If we can believe yet another story about Kate Middleton, the U.S. People Magazine website is carrying news of a denial by Mario Testino that he will be employing, or training, Kate Middleton in March.

Here’s an extract :

Contrary to press reports, aspiring photographer Kate Middleton isn’t teaming up with Mario Testino. In January, reports in respected British papers (including The Telegraph) claimed Prince William’s girlfriend would begin working in Testino’s New York studios in March.

“She’s s not! She’s not! I don’t know where that came from,” the photographer told PEOPLE Monday night at a Burberry/Vanity Fair exhibition at London’s National Portrait Gallery, which included Testino’s famous shots of Princess Diana. “I promise you, she’s not.”

Okay, we get the picture.

This only goes to show how little faith we can put in the current rash of odd stories doing the rounds about breakups, exotic travel plans (why would a Prince advertise his travel plans in advance?), and other weird tales.

Of course, we don’t even know if this rebuttal is true, although it does have the ring of accuracy to my ears.

Sanity, sanity, where art thou, sanity.

Thanks to Susan P. Taylor for the tip.

Prince William has arranged for his girlfriend Kate Middleton to be taught the art of photography by Mario Testino, who was the favourite photographer of his mother Princess Diana.

Testino, who has taken many shots of the Princes, has agreed to let Kate work as an intern at his studios in New York in March. It’s reported that Kate and the photographer have already had one meeting to discuss the assignments.

Kate, who has endured much suffocating attention from the paparazzi — as did Diana — is said, nevertheless, to be interested in a career in photography, especially tending toward the artistic end of the spectrum. Her speciality is thought to be abstract photography.

Mario Testino, 53, has become close to both Prince William and Prince Harry since their mother’s death. The Princes chose his photographs to illustrate the successful Concert for Diana last year marking the 10th anniversary of her death. He was also in the congregation at the service at Guards Chapel on the anniversary.

Other Royal work has involved photographing the Princes on their birthdays and the shots for the official Christmas card sent by the Prince of Wales.

Let’s hope this story has more substance than the Tom Ford connection last year. Also that Kate’s close protection squad will be available by March.

Meanwhile, Prince William apparently celebrated his first solo flight this week with a night at the Pitcher and Piano pub in Nottingham, which is a fair way to go from Cranwell, Lincs. Maybe he borrowed a plane for the occasion.