So Prince William and Kate Middleton attended a polo match over the weekend and *gasp* he put his arm on her shoulder in a gesture of affection (pictured).

This is a couple who have been in and out of “going out” for so long, you almost have to be of the Queen Mother’s generation to remember when it all began.

Nowadays, they are spotted together two or three times a year, usually at polo or shooting parties. Their public appearances go round in circles without ever getting anywhere. It’s a bit like watching one of those everlasting film loops on the 24-hour news channels.

What is the real story behind this sporadic romance that would never make the pages of Mills and Boon? Sometimes I think even they don’t really know where it will end. They act like a couple whose early romance has spluttered out, but are so comfortable with each other, they can’t bring themselves to end it completely.

When the Prince finished his military training last year, it was generally assumed he would settle down and help out the family firm, especially his elderly grandmother. Visions of a glittering Royal wedding became the norm in the media and beyond.

Then, William surprised everyone, including Kate and his minders, by signing up for a long stint as a helicopter pilot in the RAF. Incredibly, his brother, Prince Harry, also sank his future in a similar role with the Army. We now have the second and third-in-line to the Throne training to fly helicopters in hazardous circumstances for years to come.

While I can understand Harry wanting to see action, it doesn’t make sense for his elder brother also to seek harm’s way. The Armed Forces can’t be that short of helicopter pilots that a whole generation of Royal heirs have to be drafted in.

While the Queen is sensibly rationing her daily workload, and the Prince of Wales — now the oldest occupier of that title in history — is not the sprightly youth he once was, it is inexplicable that the Monarchy’s future, the younger Princes, should absent themselves when the Queen needs them most.

This loop will run and run. I suspect most of us are bored stiff with it already.

William should take care that the public don’t forget about him entirely, hardly recognizing the man when he finally ascends to the Throne, a stranger to his people.

John Evans

There is a powerful school of thought that the Monarchy is best when it’s boring.

Prince William and Prince Harry

I would prefer to say, it has a duty to be boring to the extent that boring doesn’t trip over the toes of politicians.

However, I don’t believe that boring should apply equally to members of the Royal Family whose job it is to help the Monarch embody and unify the nation. Boring and invisible are not known unifying forces.

At present the Royal Family is keeping a very low profile. Its future, the two 20-something Princes, are buried deep in the Armed Forces, except for occasional forays into charitable activities, which by necessity, are boring.

If you write about Monarchy and Royalty, as we do here, there are very few Royal stories around.

Kate Middleton has popped into a very black hole, possibly allowing her to fade from public notice with dignity. If she ever pops out permanently on the arm of Prince William, it will be deja vu all over again, as some wit put it. In other words, boring.

Chelsy Davy has reportedly had a few flings during her former boyfriend’s absence on flying duties. Holidays in South Africa without Harry, and a new job in a London law office beckon. Boring doesn’t begin to cover it.

Prince Charles and Camilla stagger from one overseas PR disaster to another, giving the impression of a ragged and disputatious marriage — which it probably isn’t. Well, not all of the time.

Oh, and Princess Beatrice has got a new plait on the top of her head. Hold the back page!

It couldn’t be more boring, could it?

This wholesale retreat from public life is said to be a way of sharing the public’s new-found poverty. Rightly, photos of drunken Princes swaying out of £100-a-shot nightclubs are strictly off-limits now.

The Princes’ new team at St James’s Palace can hardly be expected to come up with new publicity stories while the “boys” are in the military, training for future under-the-radar roles.

Has the Queen fallen into the same trap that caused such consternation when Diana died? Locking the family away in Balmoral, while half the country was heaving with grief, was understandable for an ordinary family, but not for Royalty. Monarchy needs to be visible at low points in the national life. Future popularity depends on it.

The new austerity is a wise choice, given the appalling attrition many families are facing across the country. But a bit of Royal magic would go down a treat now.

It’s about time we revisited this almost ancient storyline which was once so huge, but now just perks up a tad on the few occasions they are spotted together.

Prince William and Kate Middleton’s relationship is now so low key that it survives in the public mind only on the memory of what happened more than two years ago. Nothing of substance has been added since then. In fact, Carole Middleton’s negative comments appear to have downgraded it further.

Despite that, some journalists still call Kate “William’s girlfriend”. Could that be because no other girlfriend has been in evidence?

Richard Kay’s comment on Channel 4 that Kate has become a kind of smokescreen, allowing William to play the field, begs some questions.

If they are “just friends” it would be to her advantage to go along with it and remain in the Prince’s circle.

Publicly, Kate’s status is non-defined, neither one thing nor another. That’s not a good place for a bright 27 year-old to be.

Wild speculation has now given way to yawning apathy. For William, that’s not a good situation either. He will need a store of popularity to perform his role in future years.

Has his new publicist team decreed a Trappist-like existence for the Prince? Or is it William’s decision to stay out of the spotlight?

As for Kate: if a particular species of bird becomes rare, then not sighted at all, in most cases it’s become extinct.

That would be a pity though.

I’m afraid the slow news month for the Royal Family continues into another.

Prince Harry learns to fly

Prince William and Prince Harry are away learning to fly helicopters and their girlfriends have gone to ground. Chelsy Davy has broken off her relationship with Harry, while Kate Middleton seems to have popped into a black hole … again.

We hear that Harry has failed the first written test on his flying course and is receiving special tuition from his officers.

Lord “Freddie” Windsor has become engaged to Sophie Winkleman and will marry in September. Sophie played the irascible Princess Eleanor in The Palace, an irreverent, and almost unwatchable, ITV drama about a fictional British Royal Family, which appeared too close for comfort to the present one.

The Queen will soon have two Sophies to contend with: Sophie Wessex and Sophie Windsor.

A source said, “The first thing on the agenda is to get the parents to meet as they have not had the chance so far. Princess Michael is currently in South Africa but they’ll arrange a meeting as soon as she returns. Everybody is thrilled.”

Sophie’s father is Barry Winkleman, a publisher, and her mother, Cynthia Black, is a children’s author.

Prince Philip took a fall while carriage driving recently, suffering a badly strained back and knocks to his eyes and nose. Typically, he bounced back quickly and has resumed his busy engagement round.

Let us hope the Depression has not stifled all the activities of the Royals and those around them.