Prince Harry’s long-term girlfriend, Chelsy Davy, is said to be very happy about the Prince’s non-deployment to Iraq. As well she might — his danger would translate into a period of acute anxiety for her, waiting for news back home.

After the bombshell rethink by the Army chief, Harry has been give a couple of weeks for “decompression”. Some might think that an unusual word for his normal method of letting off steam.

Over the weekend, the News of the World suggested there are plans to spirit him into Afghanistan “to fight the Taliban”. This would be done in absolute secrecy, so the enemy wouldn’t even know he was there.

It’s hard to imagine members of the Taliban reading the News of the World — an icon of Western decadence — but surely the paper must know that this kind of intelligence will find its way back to those who would dearly love to capture the Prince?

So, Afghanistan is definitely out then! It looks like the UN for desperate Harry. Who, though, will blow that mission before it begins? Chelsy could end up in a state of constant euphoria as “her Haz” remains confined to barracks at Windsor. The Prince could finish his Army career with only three medals : for the Boujis and Mahika campaigns, and the British equivalent of the Purple Heart for enduring testing hangovers without complaint. Poor Harry!

We’re also hearing that Harry and Prince William are planning an all-night bash immediately following the Diana Concert in July. Clarence House is totally spooked over this, thinking it would give the wrong impression if the two Falstaff Princes are seen falling out of a nightclub to mark the 10th anniversary of their mother’s death.

Meanwhile, Prince William is to accompany Kate Middleton (remember her?) to a wedding, according to Katie Nicholl in the MoS. This is a long-standing engagement apparently which neither wants to cancel.

Makes you think, though, doesn’t it?