I’m often asked why I don’t report on the many rumours zipping around about the endlessly ongoing relationship between Kate Middleton and Prince William.

The simple answer is that most of them are untrue.

Now Judy Wade of Hello! magazine has shot down another batch of these phantom birds.

First, the plausible sounding report that Kate and William will be off to meet the Queen at Balmoral at the end of August. It’s definitely not on, says Judy. Nor is the linked tale of an engagement announcement on August 31, the anniversary of William’s mother, Diana, Princess of Wales’s death.

That never seemed a goer for me, since the two events are completely incompatible. The same goes for a wedding at St Paul’s Cathedral.

The new (or rehashed) idea that Kate is yet again planning a rendezvous with New York to enhance her photographic skills, explodes when you consider the paparazzi onslaught that would result in a city far from the protection squad she would need.

If Princess Eugenie is under the cosh for taking police guards abroad, how much more intense would it be for a non-Royal, non-engaged girlfriend of a Prince? And whatever happened to Eugenie’s arrival at an American university? Newcastle is a long way from New England.

It seems that Kate enjoys the privacy that working from a home office allows her, despite the constant barrage of derision it brings. I can understand that as I do the same myself. She will not lightly give it up in favour of a stint in an overseas city, however tempting that might be. Prince Harry’s reception by New Yorkers was a foretaste of what it might be like.

The story appears to be an echo of the Mario Testino affair last year, which went the rounds until he declared, “Where did this story come from? It’s new to me.”

There’s a rhythm to all this speculation. Stories are punted, based on clearly misleading information, only to be shot down later as “completely untrue”.

It may be that William’s friends are putting up smokescreens, like helicopter chaff, to deflect attention from what’s really going on, or, more likely, the sheer humdrum nature of both his RAF training and Kate’s work with Party Pieces.

The true story of Kate and William’s romance would never have become a Barbara Cartland novel, that’s for sure.

Once again we enter familiar territory: will they, won’t they?

I refer, of course, to that pair of star-tossed lovers, Prince William and Kate Middleton.

They have spent some time together up in arctic Birkhall on the Balmoral Estate in Scotland, causing the usual flurry of anticipation and speculation in the British press and more distant publications around the globe.

I have held off writing about this because I have been here before. Many times before. Too many times before to want to go through the rigmarole again.

However, since events are coming to a head on Friday — Kate’s 27th birthday — and next week, when William begins up to seven years’ service with the RAF, Royal Anecdotes has to say something about the situation.

Firstly, I suspect William joined Charles and Camilla up in Birkhall because of the Queen’s wish not to have the second-in-line to the Throne following the playboy circuit abroad at a time of grave economic stress for her subjects.

The apparent invitation to Kate’s parents, Carole and Michael, may have been out of simple politeness. After all, their daughter has been left dangling for seven years. A Royal expression of favour would make a lot of difference to an ordinary family in extraordinary circumstances.

At the very least Kate’s loyalty deserves a word or two about their future prospects, if only to discourage that dismissive nickname, Waity Katie.

Of course, the elaborate build-up now may be just be a nice way of acknowledging her steadfast friendship without damaging her reputation. As the years of service go by, William would then feel free to find someone else. Kate would more than likely do the same. This feels more like a fanfare and send-off for a Prince about to dedicate a fair portion of his life to dangerous public service.

We won’t know until William is safely tucked up in his new training school. If it hasn’t happened then, it probably never will.

I have to say, there’s very little obvious activity suggesting a Royal engagement right now. But a low-key announcement can’t be entirely ruled out.

The Ministry of Defence (MoD) has announced that Prince William will spend time with Sir Jock Stirrup, Chief of the Defence Staff, and General Sir Richard Dannatt, Chief of the General Staff, when he returns to his Army service in September.

Intriguingly, he will also serve with the Special Forces, the SAS, and possibly the SBS, but will not be involved in forward operations. This placement is at his own request, the BBC reports.

In the four or five months remaining of his military service, William will be shown what goes on at the very apex of the Services’ hierarchy with the highest of the top brass, deep in the MoD building in Whitehall. It will be the culmination of an action-packed and wide-ranging three-year training period to prepare him for his future role as Head of the Armed Forces.

From tomorrow, the Prince will be on holiday in Mustique with girlfriend Kate Middleton, who has already flown out to the Caribbean to be with him. It has been reported that she refused a free upgrade to First Class on the BA flight, preferring to be treated like everyone else. “Please call me Kate,” she told cabin crew, putting an end to recent confusion over her preferred name.

On the couple’s return, they are expected to spend a week with the Queen and the Prince of Wales at Balmoral in Scotland. Some news sources are claiming that plans for a summer wedding next year are well underway and will be put to bed in August. At the very least a hint of an announcement may just leak out of the grand Scottish castle to set Royalist hearts aflutter all over again.

In the BBC footage this morning I was struck by William’s growing maturity and poise. In full Navy kit he no longer resembles his mother, but bears a striking likeness to the young Prince Philip, his grandfather.

It’s a very good omen.

Is this where Zara Phillips gets her ability to jump over obstacles on horseback?

The Queen and Prince Charles helping Princess Anne into Balmoral

She certainly looks the part of a future Olympic sportswoman. A very young Princess Anne is shown being helped to climb into a window at Balmoral by the Queen and a youthful Prince Charles.

Nowadays, of course, such “shocking” behaviour would fall foul of the European Union’s “health and safety” rules. And she hasn’t even got a hard hat on!

Children do need adventure and real learning experiences. Both youngsters grew up to be fearless horse riders.

Methinks the Queen was a much better mother than she’s often given credit for.

This is one of the pictures released by the Palace in advance of Prince Charles’s 60th birthday next November.