Attending a friend’s hen night at Mahiki, the London nightclub favoured by Prince William and Prince Harry, Kate Middleton, 25, hinted that she may be about to announce an engagement herself.

After being recently reunited with long-time boyfriend, Prince William, the Jigsaw fashion buyer didn’t discount wedding bells for the two of them.

“It’s not my night,” Kate told a reporter. Then added: “Not yet.”

Mischievous, perhaps, or just unable to hold it in any longer?

Let’s wait and see. Which is what we always do with this pair of lovebirds.

Despite the rough patches, Kate Middleton still seems odds on favourite for the fillies’ Group One Classic, The Prince William Stakes at Royal Ascot.

In recent days she appears to have forged a new relationship with the tribes of paparazzi that live in tepees outside London’s fashionable wateringholes. Some commentators are even suggesting that tame picture editors are airbrushing her shots to create a new glam icon for their front pages.

Is this wise? Is Kate going too far with her endless to-ing and fro-ing outside nightclub entrances in dresses where decolletage and hemline almost merge?

Big questions we have not ducked here at Royal Anecdotes. Today, we assemble a friendly list of ten tips for “the girl who would be Queen”.

1. Be dull — but not dreary. A future Queen should never be a follower of the wilder nightclubbing set. She should arrange her life so that no big photo opportunities occur for the paparazzi. Princes naturally shy away from overt celebrity. They don’t need it, so you don’t either. Prince William is particularly hyper-sensitive in this area.

2. Wear tweed at Cheltenham. It’s not Royal Ascot where temperatures can soar to 60F on good days. Cheltenham is bitingly cold and windy in March. Forget fashion, that’s for the London set. Out in the sticks, stick to the thick stuff. People like sensible Queens.

3. Speak occasionally. The public will not know who you are until they’ve heard your voice. A few inconsequential pleasantries to waiting journalists will do you the world of good and allow your intelligence to show through. However, don’t speak in estuary English to impress the BBC. It’s not worth impressing.

4. Avoid being associated with certain people. These include, organizers of orgies, lap dancers, mooners, all manner of pranksters and would-be court jesters.

5. Let the Prince do the chasing. He’s Army fit, so is quite capable of lifting his right arm. Don’t mollycoddle unless specifically requested to do so.

6. Don’t call him “Sir” in bed. It’s so middle class. “Prinny” is a suitable alternative and has historical precedents.

7. Never tell his secrets out of school. Small intimate incidents always look ridiculous in cold print, and can be manipulated to appear hilarious, especially to occupants of public houses.

8. Be explicit about your trajectory. When entering a room or function with camera crews in attendance, state loudly and clearly, “I’m now coming in”. When leaving, say, “I’m now going out”. This especially applies if the BBC is involved.

9. When a secret is out, let it be out. If the world and his wives and girlfriends know you are back together, don’t sit apart or pretend to be complete strangers. You will only look like prize plonkers.

10. Don’t cultivate a permatan. You’ll look like a Californian prune before you’re 40. English girls don’t tan well — or so I’m told — and being a Queen is a lifelong profession.

It’s rather confusing having a grandson of the Queen with no title. So does Peter Phillips’ newly-announced nuptials to Canadian Autumn Kelly count as a Royal wedding?

Well, our Texan Chapter has decided it is. So, to avoid having the Texas Rangers beating on our door, we are pleased to treat it as a Royal occasion. A little extra bunting please.

Peter, 29, met Montreal-born Autumn at the Canadian Grand Prix, where he was working as sponsorship manager for the Williams Formula One team. She has been with him for four years, now sharing a cottage on Princess Anne’s Gatcombe Park estate in Gloucestershire.

Autumn grew up in Montreal with her mother Kay and stepfather Ron Magas, an airline pilot. She attended McGill University and became a management consultant after graduating.

Peter, who was once tipped to play for Scotland at rugby union, studied at Exeter University in Devon. He now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland.

Although tenth in line to the throne, he doesn’t bear a Royal title and carries out no official engagements. As I write, there are no details available for the wedding.

Royal Anecdotes sends best wishes to the both of them.

It seems the Queen is taking Royal Anecdotes’ advice on the controversial BBC film, A Year With The Queen, in which she is shown apparently storming out from a photoshoot with starry American snapper, Annie Leibovitz. In fact the footage was taken of her arrival at the session.

Regular readers may recall our reaction : “… the Queen should remove permission for the film to be shown.”

The MoS is reporting, “Well placed sources say a heated behind-the-scenes dispute is going on between the BBC and Buckingham Palace over the Corporation’s refusal to scrap the documentary.”

Let’s hope the Palace is successful. The trailer was an outrage and was clearly remixed for sensation rather than accuracy. The attempt may falter though because the documentary series has already been sold to a broadcaster in the USA, and to other countries.

Royal programming on British TV is now big business. A trawl through the listings for the coming week alone reveals four shows on Royal themes across the networks :

Sunday (today) — BBC1, The Great British Village Show has Prince Charles and Camilla handing out prizes at a typical summer competition for the best-kept village.

Monday — Channel 5, Diana: Last Days Of A Princess, a drama-documentary in which actors play the parts of the principals over those final few days.

Tuesday — Channel 5, Charles and Di — The Wedding: Revealed, which promises to tell all about the wedding of the century back in 1981.

Tuesday — ITV1, Guarding The Queen, an excellent and often hilarious documentary series about how young Grenadier Guards are trained for ceremonial and guard duties at Buckingham Palace — in between painful interludes in Afghanistan fighting the Taliban.

And that’s just three day’s worth. Television is going large on Royalty at the moment. It remains the greatest fairy tale around.